Grumpy Old Orc

Spearhead

It is all the wife’s fault. She has switched her allegiance to Cities of Sigmar and so dumped the box full of new Stormcast firmly in my lap. Nobody styling themselves the, “Grumpy Old Orc” could possibly prioritise the completion of a Stormcast Spearhead over that of the Oruks, or even Gloomspite Gitz. Alas, though, cruel fate decreed it so. I must also point out that the Kruleboyz are only a Beastskewer Killbow away from completion. Here it is then, my first Spearhead:

The Vigilant Brotherhood

I decided to step away from our usual Hammers Of Sigmar look and went for the Hallowed Knights as featured in the box artwork.

I hate to have to admit it, but I did enjoy painting this scheme. There was something very satisfying about all those fiddly details. Getting them Battle Ready was a doddle really. An undercoat of Leadbelcher and I was practically there.

I also got to play a game with this Spearhead. At long last of suffering *ridiculous armour saves* and *over powered to hit and wound rolls* it was my turn to dish out the punishment! Never ever, ever have I rolled so many ones and twos. Eventually I managed to kill ten Clanrats and in return the Skaven wiped me out to a man. It is back to the box for you guys, now where are my Kruleboyz?

*The moaning and whinging of a very disgruntled orc.*

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Uncategorized

on March 21, 2025 at 10:58 am Leave a Comment

Room and Board

The trouble with inviting several hundred goblins into your home is finding the room to put them up. Really how do you accommodate such a vast quantity of green skins? Ok so to begin with you can shove them in a box and hide them under your bed but at best this is just a temporary measure.

It is a natural first instinct to want to show off all your beautifully painted new friends and so it begins. The Goblins fill up one shelf, then another and another. With the green skins breeding faster than rabbits you soon run out of shelf space. Somehow, despite all this procreative activity, the little gits gather dust as if it were orc teef! You invest in feather dusters and air dusters but all to no avail; the dust still gathers. With the box under the bed calling to you once again as the best solution you frantically cast about for a better home for your little fellers.

Perhaps you are smiling to yourself in smug affluence secure in the knowledge that your guys are snuggly tucked up in a sturdy G.W. case. There can be little doubt that G.W. cases are the best home for your guys but, my, they are expensive. As your collection creeps beyond the 1000 figure landmark you realise just how much storing your models is going to cost.

I bit the bullet, something had to be done, more to the point something had to be bought. I think I was rather fortunate to discover the KR Multicase, or rather several of them. They are well made of heavy duty card with foam inserts capable of holding 200 guys. Amazon will charge you £22.50 (+4.48 pp) for this little beauty. As they stand they are no good for cavalry or standard bearers but they could be modified. As a cheap and cheerful solution to mass figure storage I heartily recommend them.

Published in:

The Hobby

on June 9, 2015 at 11:40 am Comments (1)
Tags: 40k, Figure cases, storage, Warhammer

Nurglings

As soon as these little fellas came out I knew I just had to have them. These Nurglings capture a sense of fun, ok so it is rather sadistic and twisted fun but fun never-the-less. The mischief and joy these models display really appeals to the goblin in me!

They were so easy to put together and painting them was just the ticket to get me well back in the habit of swinging the old brush. These Nurglings were a real delight to work with. The guys are just packed with lovely, gory detail that you, and they, can get your teeth into.

At £15 for the three bases I have to say I think they were pretty good value for money. The entertainment value of painting them was worth the cash itself; let’s hope they can earn their beans on the battle field.

Right then… on to the Herald!

Published in:

Daemons

on May 7, 2015 at 10:18 am Leave a Comment
Tags: 40k, Daemons, Warhammer

Droning On!

When these little beauties first came out they went straight to my heart. As with most Nurgle models the grossness, the violence and downright evil is presented in a spirit of mischief and naughty boy humour. Despite all the background story and partially digested victims trying to escape these guys are great fun. After all it is not as if the victims have been swallowed whole by Ghurk Glott have they?

I found the models very easy to put together; even with messing them around by building a mix of command and regular troops. The detail on these guys is fantastic. It had been a while since I had done any painting but I found these a fairly gentle reintroduction.

My daemon army is marching slowly but inexorably on. Ok so now my painting hand has got a bit steadier where are those nurglings?

The scholar wiped the bead of sweat from the tip of his nose just before it fell and splashed upon the parchment he was industriously scribbling over. The sweltering heat was almost overpowering. The sweltering heat was almost as overpowering as the stench the heat always brought with it. A fly repeatedly buzzed past his ear with monotonous, frustrating regularity. For the thousandth time he distractedly swatted the fly away. He had tried his best to ignore the heat, to ignore the stink and to ignore the fly but when the pesky insect actually landed upon his ear that was too much.

Angrily the scholar threw down his quill and jumped to his feet. The angry victim looked round for the offending bug and was dismayed to see the room was playing host to at least two dozen flies. Right! Picking up a rolled bundle of parchments the scholar declared war upon the annoying intruders.

It was hot and frustrating work the flies had found the knack of settling in places where the scholar could not attack them; ink bottles and clean parchment being their favourite haunt. At long last the vexed and sweating man had cleared his room and with the corpses of some two dozen flies on a scrap of old parchment he opened the door to the outside.

The scholar expected the increase in the stench, he expected the blinding sunlight but he did not expect the plague drone. The Plague Bearer towering above the scholar looked down upon the scrap of parchment bearing the fly corpses; “Turn about!” he grinned at the scholar. As the scholars bowels involuntarily gave way, much to the Plague Bearers pleasure, the drones proboscis engulfed the scholars head and began sucking with incredible force. How I wish for the scholar’s sake that was the last thing he felt, alas it was not…

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Daemons

on April 20, 2015 at 10:50 am Leave a Comment
Tags: 40k, Daemons, Warhammer

More Than Just Playing With Soldiers

While games of Warhammer and 40k are great any hobbyist will tell you that the actual games are just a small part of our pastime. Engaging in the collecting and painting of your little guys is a much bigger part of the war gaming hobby than actually playing the game. Some folks see this preparatory work as a bit of a downer; just let me at those filthy skaven, they rage. However for the majority of war gamers collecting and painting the miniatures is even more fun than the battles themselves.

Not content with collecting, painting and fighting with their little guys some hobbyists also feel the need to share there adventures with fellow gamers. Once-upon-a-time the only way to share your armies with others was over the battle table or at club nights. Now-a-days for those with the desire or need to share, show off or simply enjoy the company of fellow hobbyists there are blogs and there is Twitter. All of a sudden a whole new aspect of the hobby opens up!

For me and for many others I am sure that is the beauty of this hobby; the depth of involvement it offers and often demands. This is one of those hobbies that the more you put in the more you get out. It matters not to me that perhaps this article will be read by only one or two people, if I am lucky, what matters is that I have fun preparing and presenting this missive. So not only do I have the fun of playing with my toy soldiers but I get to play with lights and cameras and get to set up nice scenes with my little guys as if it really matters. It is all harmless fun anyway.

Published in:

The Hobby

on April 16, 2015 at 10:11 am Leave a Comment
Tags: 40k, Daemons, Photography, Warhammer

Puss ‘n’ Rot

Long, long ago deep in the mists of time, in that period of shoulder pads and Texan soap operas called the eighties, I first encountered Chaos. I was instantly drawn to the decadent, erotic charms of Slaanesh and to that god I gladly sold my soul. However chaos is chaos, it broils and churns and we mere mortals are swept hither and thither and tide tossed upon many an alien shore. Bitterly too those chaos gods fight to win followers one from another and many a soul is torn asunder in the ensuing tug-of-war. Wise is the mortal who pins not his arms to the coat tails of any great patron but, humbly and devoutly, follows them all.

Ok so after years of collecting only Slaanesh I have broadened my Daemonic horizons. GW are busy producing many, many mouth-watering models at the moment but, of the recent batch, the Plaguebearers of Nurgle most captured my imagination. I suppose being and orc at heart these models would be bound to appeal to me. There is almost a snotling/orc relationship between the plaguebearers and nurglings.

As can be said of most of the new plastic models they went together very well and were wonderfully detailed. I don’t know if it is just me but I seem to be having a bit of an issue with the plastic glue; ie. It will not stick??? Super glue seems to work though; fingers crossed (damn now they are stuck together). (Note: this article was first published a while ago and since then the problem with the plastic glue appears to have been resolved.)

So here is the first unit of my reimagined Daemon Hoard I have a feeling it might be a little Nurgle heavy, with plenty of Daemonetts too (mmmmmm).

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Daemons

on April 14, 2015 at 10:58 am Leave a Comment
Tags: Daemons, Warhammer

Thunder in the Valley

Unseasonal thunder in the valley, a portent of things to come, can mean only one of two things. Firstly it could mean the giants have been on the beans again, in which case an upwind location is to be preferred, or the dwarves are on the ranges performing target practice. It looks like the latter to me.
Ok so someone has got their back up. What did they do? Did they use the “D” word in a diminutive way? Did the dwarves buy some dodgy pies from Volendorf? Or, more than likely, some bleeding goblin beat them at conkers. Whatever the reason, and let’s face it dwarves don’t need much of an excuse, the dwarves are going to war.
Markham took his Sure-Shots out for a bit practice and the even the stoic dwarves managed a grin at the prospect of a weedy elf on the receiving end of one of their slugs. Markham’s Sure-Shots are ready they just can’t wait for the rest of the lads to turn up.

“Gold, gold, gold, gold,
Gold, gold, gold, gold!”

Published in:

Dwarves

on November 27, 2011 at 8:25 pm Leave a Comment
Tags: Thunder's, Warhammer

Ten year Tau

Well despite the rather long break from this blog we have not been idle on the Warhammer front; far from it. Since my last post, all the way back in May, there has been painting a plenty. Over the next few weeks I’ll try and get you caught up with all that has been happening along with what we are currently up to. That means you have the coming of age of a Tomb Kings Army and a High Elf Army to look forward to.
Apart from everything else we have also launched ourselves into 40k. Today’s painting effort saw the completion of a Tau Hammerhead and that very rare bird a Tau Devilfish. I know you cannot get your hands on a Devilfish anymore but then these tanks, and indeed the whole Tau Army have been waiting to get painted for a while. They have been waiting quite a while; ten years in fact. Not a record wait by any means but still…
Please forgive the low resolution on the photos but I ran out of batteries for my camera, I’ll have to get some on Friday. Here we go then, after ten years of waiting (where does the time go?) the Tau Tanks.

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on November 23, 2011 at 4:05 pm Leave a Comment
Tags: 40k, Tanks

The Orcs & Goblins Fun Edition

I should have known better, after all these years I should have known better. Was I seduced by the enormity of the Arachnarok Spider? Was I deluded by the hype regarding Orc tribes? Was I enamoured by the Nasty Sulkers? Was I washed away on the tide of euphoria surrounding a new Orc and Goblin Army Book. You bet I was! Was I once again suckered by the omnipotent GW? You bet I was.

I suppose it is because the Orcs and Goblins are so dear to my heart that I believe it is impossible for GW to produce an army book worthy of them. However putting my own personal prejudice to one side this book is still a bitter disappointment.

As a book lover the new format for the books themselves is delightful. It feels nice, it smells nice and it handles nicely. It is everything a book should be. However it is supposed to be a gaming manual and as such it is bulky, cumbersome and heavy. The claims that it was full of all new artwork were of course an exaggeration. There is plenty of small new art but also a rehash of a lot of popular old stuff including the cover of the last book!

As for the rules content well… This book perfectly fits the ethos of the new Warhammer. Its emphasis is upon fun rather than competitive supremacy. Personally I think that is great. Yes I believe that Warhammer should be fun before anything else. However, the Orcs and Goblins are the only ones playing to these rules at the moment. In particular the new, more complicated, animosity rules heavily penalise a catastrophic failure with two units taking casualties and losing a whole turn’s activity. Yeah that is loads of fun guys, not!

Now we come to the big jaw dropper; the cheapest magic item is worth 50 pts. But that is ok because there is only eight magic items in total. Two magic weapons, one magic armour, one arcane item, three banners and an enchanted item. There you go; good luck kitting out your own orc hero with that lot. Sure there is loads of generic stuff but where is the excitement in that?

Sorry this army book gets a big thumbs down from me. Your best bet is not to buy this book until they have levelled the field a little by nobbling a few other armies with their new “fun” rules.

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Orcs and Goblins

on May 3, 2011 at 11:19 am Leave a Comment
Tags: Goblins, Orcs, Warhammer

The Rocky Spider Picture Show.

Well what can I say? It is a big spider full of goblins of course I wanted one. Ok so I opted for the easy paint job but I still think it looks pretty cool for me.

And Yes I took it up against the Sword Master of Hoeth ; they did four wounds Rocky did four, the goblins none, as you would expect, and thunder stomp did three. Net result Rocky won by two. As it was me rolling the break test the elves were gone.

Losing four wounds in one round of combat was a bit of an eye opener even if it was to S5 elites. However rocky had the staying power and he won!