Thunder in the Valley

Unseasonal thunder in the valley, a portent of things to come, can mean only one of two things. Firstly it could mean the giants have been on the beans again, in which case an upwind location is to be preferred, or the dwarves are on the ranges performing target practice. It looks like the latter to me.
Ok so someone has got their back up. What did they do? Did they use the “D” word in a diminutive way? Did the dwarves buy some dodgy pies from Volendorf? Or, more than likely, some bleeding goblin beat them at conkers. Whatever the reason, and let’s face it dwarves don’t need much of an excuse, the dwarves are going to war.
Markham took his Sure-Shots out for a bit practice and the even the stoic dwarves managed a grin at the prospect of a weedy elf on the receiving end of one of their slugs. Markham’s Sure-Shots are ready they just can’t wait for the rest of the lads to turn up.

“Gold, gold, gold, gold,
Gold, gold, gold, gold!”

Published in: on November 27, 2011 at 8:25 pm  Leave a Comment  
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The Orcs & Goblins Fun Edition

I should have known better, after all these years I should have known better. Was I seduced by the enormity of the Arachnarok Spider?  Was I deluded by the hype regarding Orc tribes? Was I enamoured by the Nasty Sulkers? Was I washed away on the tide of euphoria surrounding a new Orc and Goblin Army Book. You bet I was! Was I once again suckered by the omnipotent GW? You bet I was.

I suppose it is because the Orcs and Goblins are so dear to my heart that I believe it is impossible for GW to produce an army book worthy of them. However putting my own personal prejudice to one side this book is still a bitter disappointment.

As a book lover the new format for the books themselves is delightful. It feels nice, it smells nice and it handles nicely. It is everything a book should be. However it is supposed to be a gaming manual and as such it is bulky, cumbersome and heavy. The claims that it was full of all new artwork were of course an exaggeration. There is plenty of small new art but also a rehash of a lot of popular old stuff including the cover of the last book!

As for the rules content well… This book perfectly fits the ethos of the new Warhammer. Its emphasis is upon fun rather than competitive supremacy. Personally I think that is great. Yes I believe that Warhammer should be fun before anything else. However, the Orcs and Goblins are the only ones playing to these rules at the moment. In particular the new, more complicated, animosity rules heavily penalise a catastrophic failure with two units taking casualties and losing a whole turn’s  activity. Yeah that is loads of fun guys, not!

Now we come to the big jaw dropper;  the cheapest magic item is worth 50 pts.  But that is ok because there is only eight magic items in total.  Two magic weapons, one magic armour, one arcane item, three banners and an enchanted item. There you go; good luck kitting out your own orc hero with that lot. Sure there is loads of generic stuff but where is the excitement in that?

Sorry this army book gets a big thumbs down from me. Your best bet is not to buy this book until they have levelled the field a little by nobbling a few other armies with their new “fun” rules.

Published in: on May 3, 2011 at 11:19 am  Leave a Comment  
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The Rocky Spider Picture Show.

Well what can I say? It is a big spider full of goblins of course I wanted one. Ok so I opted for the easy paint job but I still think it looks pretty cool for me.

And Yes I took it up against the Sword Master of Hoeth ; they did four wounds Rocky did four, the goblins none, as you would expect, and thunder stomp did three. Net result Rocky won by two. As it was me rolling the break test the elves were gone.

Losing four wounds in one round of combat was a bit of an eye opener  even if it was to S5 elites. However rocky had the staying power and he won!

Published in: on April 27, 2011 at 10:16 am  Leave a Comment  
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White Dwarf 375

WAAAAAGH! Yes this white dwarf is just chock full of Da Boyz! Ok so yeah as a hardened
orc player it is exciting to get all these models and especially that fantastic spider but… Oh my there is a new army book to buy, new ors and gobos to buy and yet another change to the animosity rules! So yes it is really cool to get new stuff for your favourite army but come on guys give me a break, I have a High Elf Army I want to buld!
It is not all Orcs and goblins. There is a very sexy Dark Eldar Succubus and other juicy bits. I think I am going to have to get some of those wytches! There is yet more 40k with the Blood Angels and Armageddon.
This issue also features two campaigns; one for LOTR and the other for Warhammer. It is nice to see some extra rules and gaming bits in the Dwarf, they do not do that often enough for me.

Published in: on March 2, 2011 at 11:09 am  Leave a Comment  
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Billy Bedlam


Just in case you all think I am a bit slow when it comes to the old painting… meet Billy Bedlam.
Billy is my third giant but I really believe that you simply cannot have enough giants. I have to admit that when I first saw this model I was not impressed. Over time, as I noticed more of the detail, it grew on me until I just had to have one. A couple of weeks ago I was feeling a little depressed and buying the giant was just the retail therapy I needed.
In less than a week Billy was assembled, painted and ready to go. I was not disappointed in him at all; there is so much about this giant that just makes you smile. Last Sunday he took part in his first battle, probably the last battle under the old rules for my Orcs and goblins. The boy done good! He disposed of a unit of ten Chaos Warriors all on his own and was still standing at the end of the battle.
I was pleased to see, in the latest White Dwarf, that an Arachnarok Spider and a Giant will both fit into a 2000pt. army, just.

Published in: on March 1, 2011 at 10:26 am  Leave a Comment  
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Kurt Steiff

Of course if you are going to paint a Chapel you need a Priest for it. Well in Warhammer what could be more appropriate than a Warrior Priest of Sigmar? Not only does it fit in well with the story but he also adds great depth to the overall plot surrounding Volendorf.

As for the model, just in case you are wondering; well he is the warrior priest from Warhammer Quest. What that means is that it took me more than thirteen years to paint it! Even then it was finished off last week by Nita. It is a cool model and I started off with a great burst of effort but then I got struck trying to figure out what colour to paint the cloak. So the model got put to one side and, as so often happens, eventually put in a cupboard and forgotten.

It has to be said that thirteen years is not that bad, I have got some guys that have been waiting a lot longer than thirteen years to be painted.

Published in: on March 1, 2011 at 10:02 am  Leave a Comment  
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